The Infinite

Just a memory from long ago. Peering from the sides of the boat, into the ever blue. Ever waving.

I've read from somewhere that waves act as carriers. That the reason waves exist is because energies are being transferred through them, moving from molecule to molecule.
Sorta like a whispering game but no one messes up.

These endless waves that I keep staring at for hours. As if timeless. To be more poetic, since time immemorial I suppose.
Can't help but imagine how much a powerhouse the planet is to create such constant waves, day in, day out.

Such a constant flow of energy. Such an infinite flow of energy.

Where does it come from?
 

The Family's Guard Dog

Today my over-protective side came over me when one of my sisters failed to report of their whereabouts, nearing the wee hours.

My casual, irresponsible and freewheeling self was suddenly engulfed by the fires of conviction, duty and extreme xenophobia.
A feeling that was quite rare for me these days.

The whole issue was resolved quickly, surprisingly. And thankfully.
Thought that I may even have overreacted.
Which is again, something that I very rarely go through.

Despite my ever deadening self, it is reassuring to know there is still life within me.
That I still care.

Feeling Old

One of the best pleasures in life is to retreat to the quiet little town of Cyberjaya and have your nicotine fix undisturbed. And watch the smoke and time fly away.

My pleasures in life, at least. Don't have a lot of them left.

Feeling older than I did yesterday. No particular reason though. No birthdays were celebrated. No awards were given.

It is just that aspirations do not aspire like they did before. Dreams do not inspire like they did before. Good will does not give you a sense that the world is on track as it is supposed to be. Not anymore.

And "love" has already become another cliche. 

Maybe this is what old people are supposed to feel like.

On a roll

5:37am and not sleeping yet. Though I am supposed to study for my paper this week, no special reason why I needed to stay up. Could have just slept early just now and start fresh the next day. Or maybe it has been a while since I enjoyed the night without needing to have reasons.

With everyone sleeping and the weather is just right, it feels as if the night is yours. As if time stops and you have all the comfort and time in the world to contemplate on the what-might-have-been and what-would-be. Quite a selfish thought really, but I think once a while it helps. A temporary license to be irresponsible.

Returning from hiatus. Part 2.

With the booming of social networking sites everywhere, I wonder if people still blog. And speaking of which, why am I here again?

A fellow blogger of mine recently sat down with me and shared her thoughts on rekindling her love for writing and blogging. "Blogging?" my inner impulse went, "In this day and age? When people can simply express their feelings in bite-size form on Facebook statuses and twitter pages? Preposterous!".

And yet, a tiny little spark suddenly appeared in me as well.

Yes. Blogging. Writing. It used to mean something to me. Something more than fishing followers to my page. Something more than the boasts of rare vocabulary and weird sentence structures.

But for some reason, I moved on. Out of boredom? Disappointment? I can't remember. It is like trying to focus in a fake and cheap gypsy ritual to conjure an image of my past life.

But enough of reasons. Would I write again?

...Why not?

Just because.

Return from hiatus. Yet again.

I do not know how many months since I wrote a post but I have decided to once again rejuvenate this little space of mine. With useless trinkets of words and hopefully wise rantings.

But hope; I have none. Never did. This little space is only meant for me to produce mementos for me and me alone to reflect upon later in life. However, on the off-chance that a random passerby of the inter-nets have come to develop a liking to my whimsical writings, I humbly accept your love. Or at least your curiosity.

I decided to re-vamp my header once again since I can no longer relate to the title "pure like a blade." Despite having successfully settled on a more appropriate header title, I feel that the design have come off unsatisfactory to my expectation. Hopefully I can come up with a better one soon.

Much has happened since my last post. Happenings in my life and outside. It is a time of calmness aside a time of chaos. Yet I am finding myself more and more... stoic. As I dive further and further into this state, the question glares brighter and brighter to my face: should I be worried?

But now, I find myself saying,"I don't know. Maybe I just don't give a fuck."