Fate

I think the idea of fate, at least in my culture, is funny. These days people are justifying their actions with only "fate".

"Oh, it's not meant to be" or "What is fated is fated." or "Oh it's no use going against fate."

Now I have no problems believing the concept of destiny, that everything is predetermined from a time before time or something like that. But let me ask you this: How do you know that it is fated?

Did God himself hand you the book of destiny, that He himself wrote, for you to peer upon and instantly you know whats coming to you 5 years from now? Did some angelic figure revealed to you a teaser of what is going to happen next week?

Okay, to be fair, maybe some of us receives "prophetic" dreams that may actually predict events in the near future, but for the most of us, it is probably random dreams or even wet ones.

My point is that though we are told to believe that everything is predetermined, that every events have already been written before even time starts ticking, we do not know WHAT is actually written.

Because, as a normal human being, it would neurotic if you would know what you are going to do for the 5 minutes every time. I know that I am going to campus after this, and on the way I will step on a piece of chewed gum, and after wards I am going to find 50 bucks on the sidewalk and probably my day is going to end with me "accidentally" slipping on the bathroom floor and fall. And all that I know before I even get out of bed in the morning.

How can I possibly function normally? What about the excitement of uncertainty? Of surprise? What about FREE WILL GODDAMMIT??

I am not refuting fate or destiny. I know deep inside my heart that this thing is way bigger than all of us, in terms of comprehension or scale or whatever.

All I want is to be human.

Memories

A song with a sick beat and vibe, what more can I say. This song does remind me of so many things. So many memories.

I wonder when was the last time I just let loose and get crazy?

Work

I remember the last few times I went to my Grandma's house in Kluang, there was this particular incident that happened.

Now Grandma was already reaching 80 and she had begun showing signs of severe forgetfulness. So naturally her children, also my uncles and aunts, had also begun preparing for the worst that could happen. They take turns to take care after her, made sure she does not wander around too much, did her cooking, cleaned her house and such.

My Grandma rejected all that. Her reply was simply,"If you do all the work, what the hell am I supposed to do? (Well, she didn't really cuss, I just wanted to project her feelings into the statement) I cannot just sit and do nothing, I have to do some work!"

An 80 year old woman, craving for work. For the sake of doing something with her time and energy.

In comparison, the ideal life of the modern man nowadays is having lots and lots of money without moving an inch of muscle, while watching football or porn.

Times has definitely changed.

Being Muslim

I find it funny how some non-Muslims can be so Muslim than actual "Muslims" and how Muslims themselves are acting... well, less than Muslim. I guess I will never understand that one.

Kanji

For this semester I am taking Japanese language and I was actually daydreaming of becoming a manga translator. Turns out the average characters on manga consists of katakana, hiragana and the unfamiliar "kanji", which are chinese characters imported into Japanese. Persistent on finding out more about kanji (since at this point the prospect of translating manga is getting heavier than actually passing my language subject), I discovered that the standard kanji for the average Japanese school consists of more than 2000 characters!

I was astounded. How can someone live with more than 2000 characters inside his head? I have a background of learning romanized Bahasa Melayu and the Arabic writing Jawi so that is 26 and 28 characters, total of 54 characters. The Japanese, Chinese and Koreans are required to learn at least 2000-3000 characters just to read the papers. Because of this alone, I will smack anyone who complains about learning English or any other romanized language.

This really shows the potential of the human brain. More specifically, our capacity for learning. Just imagine, the entire basis of a language and culture, based on characters so abundant, so rich. Just boggles the mind.

Forgiveness

To me, forgiveness is not for the young. How could we? It was a time when we were chasing dreams, ideals. Passions flaring everywhere. We were quick to acknowledge, identify and judge. But not quick to forgive though, which is funny when I think about it now.

And at this age I can finally accept my parents no longer as parents, but as people. And as a human being to another fellow human being I can finally understand. And accept. And forgive.

I love you Mom and Dad.